March 2011
10 posts
1 tag
What was your favorite part of the Justin Bieber...
the whole part of it that I didn’t see.
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1 tag
What's your favorite candy from this list? Peanut...
Three Musketeers
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Would you rather have sex with Ronald McDonald or...
Ronald McDonald. At least one of us is walking away with a smile!
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1 tag
Today was Booty Appreciation Day! How did you...
I used wetwipes.
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1 tag
Do you ever go down to the bowling alley and ask...
I’ve bowled, I know they have 10lb balls. I actually have a 16 and a 14.
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My friend says that he gets aroused by post-op...
He wants a woman that knows how to shave his balls.
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1 tag
Who do you prefer? Officer Jenny or Nurse Joy?
Officer Jenny, of course.
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1 tag
Are you better at using your brain or your brawn?
depends on who I’m fighting
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February 2011
14 posts
1 tag
My girlfriend didn't watch the superbowl. She...
She’s only masking that her favorite team didn’t make it and a bunch of losers did.
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1 tag
What's the best title for my story about a girl...
how about Twilight: the unwritten 10th book.
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1 tag
Today I discovered that my friend keeps all her...
Are you scared of the urine in the jar or the answer of WHY the urine is in the jar? If you know that urine is in the jar, you should be disgusted more than scared. What ELSE is in that jar?
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1 tag
Cows or Cars?
Cars
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1 tag
Today, my friend said that a unicorn stole my...
stop having a rainbow over your house.
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1 tag
What is your definition of a hipster? I've seen...
a hipster would be someone who is trendy, knowledgeable at least, on the moderate to popular topics. From clothes to music to art, this person is opinionated in it all from vague secondhand memories.
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1 tag
Have you ever partied Charlie Sheen style?
hoes, yes. blow, no.
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1 tag
What's your favorite excuse to use for not giving...
there’s no excuse, it’s just a no. otherwise, it’s being raped….and I’ll never admit that has happened to me.
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1 tag
My friend Jacob and I are thinking of opening a...
I like the name of the club. I don’t think the daycare part is going to go over too well. But, I have an odd feeling that it may work too damn well.
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1 tag
I find it hard to talk to people that I have...
I, personally, don’t think it’s “ok” but there are groups of people that enjoy and an even smaller group that LOVE that sort of smut. But, remember, you have your hand up the dummy’s ass to speak, will you want a hand up your ass when you need to speak up?
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1 tag
I'm in desperate need of money so I was thinking...
The team that I’d want to be IN and possibly win the superbowl is not there. I’d vote for the team that beat my team. Or the team that I hate less.
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1 tag
My girlfriend is afraid of being flushed down the...
get a potty safety ring.
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1 tag
Have you ever let your instincts take over? If so,...
I let my instincts lead not take over. I can’t allow myself to be pulled totally off course by one singular emotion, no matter how strong. UNLESS there was undeniable reason.
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1 tag
My girlfriend thinks numbers stop at 10. How do I...
ask her what would happen if you added 10 +1, it will either equal 11 (which is correct) or her head will explode (semi correct)
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January 2011
41 posts
1 tag
My girlfriend calls Thanksgiving "Turkey Day." Is...
sadly, yes. It’s the day that all turkey’s remember. It’s the day that all of their species is hunted, plucked, bled and quartered. not even jews can make light of their pain.
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1 tag
Have you ever tried a potato bath? My friend...
sounds like you’re going to be the stuffing in a giant potato gnocchi.
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1 tag
My son keeps forgetting to compost. Do you think I...
only if you have enough acorn to last the term of his punishment.
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1 tag
Would you rather be part balloon and have the...
I think I’ll go with the latino part. I get suave hair and hips that gyrate like I’m part vibrator.
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1 tag
I'm too chicken to break up with my boyfriend to...
nope but, you’ll know how an amazingly horrible stalker.
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1 tag
My friend Seth is a couple of years younger than...
I say a nice mature game of rocks/papers/scissors will rectify who has to wipe Seth. Do a best of 7.
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1 tag
formspring.me
Ask me anything http://formspring.me/gorillamonk
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My friend Embry's imprint-buddy wanted to watch...
I still don’t get the imprint thing. It’s like a mental tattoo or something, right?
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1 tag
Have you ever tried fries with mayo?
considering that I life french fries with tartar sauce, I’d have to say yes.
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1 tag
Would you rather have the power to turn wood into...
I’m liking the idea of having eye beams.
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1 tag
For reasons that are unknown to me, the writers...
what episode was this sex scene?
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1 tag
My girlfriend and I had a fight. She wanted Legos....
nothing. you’re the one with the money, you buy what you want and she has to accept it. Beside, in a few hours she won’t even care.
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1 tag
Did you know that today is Squirrel Appreciation...
I dont think so! My nuts and squirrels don’t get along too well.
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1 tag
Have you ever worn a fanny pack?
NO! the only bag that I’ve ever worn that was infront of me was an IV bag.
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1 tag
Would you or anyone you know be interested in...
yes, and I know a couple others who’d be willing to ride a llama.
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1 tag
I found a carrot in my sister's pants pocket. I...
first, stop wearing your sister’s pants. Skinny jeans are for rockstars. your sisters jeans are for other women….I’m assuming your a guy cause if you were her sister you’d have already figured a way to have her wrapped around your finger.
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1 tag
I found a waffle in my underpants. Why? What do...
It means that you scare too easily and don’t change your pants often enough.
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1 tag
My girlfriend's jeans are held up with elastic....
depends on if it’s the same material that your girlfriend is made out of OR if she is a 10 year old thai child. Either way, there may be a proportion issue.
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1 tag
Have you ever thought of going to the local...
luckily, there isn’t one near me otherwise I’d have done this already.
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1 tag
My brother Larry has called dibs on all the...
you need to invest in some wide mouth bottles of soda or a comfort bucket.
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1 tag
Do you think that my friend might be homophobic?...
your friend is not a show-off, that’s all.
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1 tag
Did you know that there are some people who ship...
in one box?! alright, that is a little disturbing. but, then again, you’ve got to cut cost somewhere and flying a human is getting more and more expensive.
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1 tag
Did you know that moving in together sex is hot?...
I don’t know if my wife would be too happy with me having sex with your girlfriend. Draw a diagram and write a step by step and I’ll check if I haven’t done it before.
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1 tag
My girlfriend is dressing up as peas in a pod for...
not exactly. you should have gone as the scarecrow. The farmer was such a cheap cop out!
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1 tag
Is it too needy to call a friend at around 2 or 3...
send a txt instead. Considering that they haven’t changed their number and you still have it, I don’t think you’re too far down the broken path.
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1 tag
Speaking of that idea, have you ever worn a...
no but, I’m a huge fan of wet wipes.
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